Going Without Knowing

This year my focus is on Thanksgiving.

I felt led to name this year my Year of Thanksgiving when I read Ann Voskamp’s book, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare To Live Fully Right Where You Are in December. I downloaded the Kindle version as soon as I heard it was being released and read it all one week while winter raged outside my hotel room.

I am just embarking on the journey Ann has been on, the one fueled by gratitude. Seeing where the journey has taken her fills me with hope and excitement. When I read Ann’s book, I saw all she has found is all I am searching for. God spoke to my heart and this became my word and my journey for 2011 and beyond.

Years of drivenness and people pleasing have chipped away at the intimacy I once had with God. I have become fearful. I have come unbalanced in my view of God, focusing much more on his holiness and righteousness than on his love and goodness. I am also sad to confess that I have barely noticed his blessings and when I have, it has been to acknowledge them with my mind and not to receive them with my heart as gifts and evidence of his goodness.

Reading Ann’s book, I see how the open heart of gratitude can lead me right back to the heart of my Father and to the intimacy I long for. Receiving his blessings as gifts can root my relationship with him in his goodness.  Fear can no longer have its grip on me. I can lead a life of abundance in my relationship with him and he can use me in the lives of his children again as my gratitude overflows. All for his glory.

I have so much to learn and experience. I am just taking my first steps toward a life of thanksgiving, but I am excited. I look forward to sharing this journey with you and sharing the journey you are on as we grow together deeper in relationship with God through Jesus.

__________________

Catching up on my list of God’s gifts from the last few weeks:

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- snowman on Starbucks drive through window sill in frozen north bringing smiles
- old man in car, waiting as his wife carefully maneuveres her way over snow
- stranger smiles galore in Target
- smiles of baby in shopping cart
- sun shining on pristine white snow piled high under bright blue sky
- feeling strong before presentation after having prayed
- an evening to read
- glimpses of impact of gratitude on my relationship with God
- moments of hope
- warm hotel room in very cold city hundreds of miles from home
- glimpses of his presence and goodness in his gifts
- headlights illuminating sparkling “diamonds” in snow bank on dark morning
- sunrise – pinks and purples – with bare trees and ground covered with snow
- quiet moments before the storm of the day, stillness, peace
- creamy nonfat vanilla yogurt with fresh berries and crunchy granola
- security precautions at airport
- all those who watch out for my safety though they do not know me
- workers preparing for flight’s departure in frigid cold
- a direct flight
- servicemen from the army – so many – moving through the airport.
- safe travels home
- safe travel for family to/from visit
- finding Mom’s soup in the freezer; warm in my tummy
- my own bed after a long trip, comfortable and familiar, safe and warm
- the release of tears
- the low which usually precedes better times
-  niece and nephew hugs
- a reminder that there was no room for Mary carrying Jesus either
- niece and nephew faces turned up to mine-beauty
- sound of Mom’s slippers shuffling toward me
- holding niece’s hand while story is read
- holding nephew’s hand during grace. hand squeezes.
- impulse hug from nephew
- niece whispering Christmas secret
- soft blanket from friend
- family visit for birthday
- Mom’s heart to cook for others
- an extremely rare white Christmas
- huge snowflakes falling in synchronized ballet. beautiful. gentle. relaxing.
- Christmas party with Mom’s snowbound neighbors
- memories of Daddy shared by Mom’s neighbor’s on Christmas evening
- little white Christmas lights
- colorful Christmas lights on brother’s deck railing, shining beautiful at night
- gift abundance under the tree
- prelude played by sister-in-law, niece and nephew the morning after Christmas
- smell of Mom’s Noel cake cooking
- early morning daylight streaming through blinds
- pillow, soft and warm
- group hugs
- strength to tackle small projects around the house
- motivation to tackle small projects
- haircare by Robin
- laughter in the house
- sound of raindrops on roof
- protection of roof
- quiet, slow morning
- brand new year, full of hope
- sharing with faithful friend, Amy
- gift of an afternoon to putter in my home office
- early morning prayer
- flannel sheets
- gratitude journal near when sleep eludes
- iphone alarm going off correctly after not doing so the day before
- a good night’s sleep
- wood burning candle flickering
- another day working from home
- birds at feeders, so pretty in the snow
- an unexpected week in town thanks to snow storm
- a productive meeting with consensus on next steps and overall plan
- connecting with neighbors over snow shovel
- a shoveled driveway
- God’s strength to help me eat healthy today
- a new day
- colleagues who handled work for me so I did not have to travel icy roads to airport
- a productive workday at a steady, non-frantic pace
- Twitter updates relating to snow storm, informative and humorous
- a chuckle or two or three as I work
- sunshine after three snowy, cloudy days
- the gift of a whole day to learn about photography
- more laughter in the house
- clear roads at last as sun melts ice
- yet another cancelled flight allowing me to be at home another day
- a roommate to relax and enjoy a movie with
- safe drive to airport in fog
- time to read God’s Word on the plane
- strength to make choice of salad over sub sandwich at lunch
- strength to make choice of orange juice over diet soda on plane
- bright sunshine and blue sky above midwest cloud cover viewed from plane
- solid layer of clouds below plane all the way to the horizon
- diversion of iPad game to help time pass on long flight
- snow covered lake seen from airplane
- unsung heroes who work hard to keep roads clear and safe during winter
- single leafless tree in bottom left corner of huge snow covered field
- red barn surrounded by white filed of snow
- safe arrival at destination
- ice free windows on car parked outside in frigid hotel parking lot
- recorded scripture to fill my mind with his word, instead of my fears, as I fall asleep
- Mom’s silver hair shining in bright sunlight as she reads on park bench
- unexpected opportunity to see niece and nephew at lunch
- safe drive home
- nephew engrossed in book
- niece’s reassuring pats on my knees, then back.
- Mom’s generosity
- spring fever weekend in January
- praying friends
- Ann’s book, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare To Live Fully Right Where You Are.*

*I strongly recommend everyone read Ann’s book. It’s had such an impact on my life that I have already bought 10 copies and am giving them to all my family and friends. I have never done this before. It’s that important!